The book “Leadership and Self-Deception” is grating to listen to, thanks to its style. I wrote a while note about Self Help Books Told as Fiction. I couldn’t hear “The Box” one more time… but the content was good enough. Although most of it was said more concisely in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck as ”Your Problem is Your Fault“.
Abstract Self-deception is seeing your virtues as higher than they are, and others virtues as lower than they are.
- When you fail to see others as people, and instead see them as objects/threats
- When you stop ourselves from doing something that we wanted to do for someone, you betray yourself.
- You start to justify your behavior, by building up your own virtues in your head and by deflating theirs
- This is being “in the box”
- This leads to developing bad feelings towards others
- You end up carrying your box with you, and it becomes a part of you.
Getting “out of the box” isn’t done by:
- Trying to change others.
- Simply coping with others.
- Leaving.
- Communicating.
- Acting differently.
Getting out of the box is done by recognizing other people are people, and you're no better than them
And by listening to and acting on impulses to do things for other people.
Source
- Leadership and Self-Deception