Definition by Brene Brown, shame researcher
Shame is the fear of disconnection. Connection is what gives purpose and meaning in our lives. We worry we aren’t worthy of love or connection. Shame is the difference between “I did something stupid” and “I am so stupid”.
👉 Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed, and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
Shame is not useful (not like how Vulnerability is Necessary). It’s associated with all sorts of negative outcomes. Humiliation is different from shame. If you are criticized and you feel it to be unfair, you feel humiliated, not shamed. If you feel you deserve the criticism and that you’re not capable of better, that’s shame.
We all have shame. We are all afraid to talk about shame.